Happy 39th Birthday!

Assalamu'alaikum...

It is the day of the year again, my birthday! Jun 22, 2023 - My last 3 series birthday. InsyaAllah, panjang umur, next year I'll be entering the 4 series club. 😄

Alhamdullillah untuk nikmat umur yg Allah kurniakan sehingga saat ini. And this year is a special year because it is my first birthday as a Mother. And Jun 22 is also the day my little tiger, Nuh, turns 11 months. 

So, how does it feel to become a Mother at this age? Bagaimana rasanya bergelar seorang Ibu pada usia begini? Secara jujurnya, semasa saya decided untuk buat IVF, age is my main concern. As the doctor said, as a woman entered 35, the egg quality deteriorated. Frankly speaking, it is a mixture of feelings. 

I still clearly remember the embryo transfer day, Nov 22, 2021. The doctor said the embryo hatched beautifully after the transfer. Saya usap perut saya dan kept on telling myself that there is someone in here now. Walaupun belum 100% confirm that it will end up with a pregnancy, but I really felt a pure joy of knowing finally after so many years of TTC, there is HOPE. 

And now, with Nuh, semua penat lelah bila balik dari kerja hilang bila tengok anak yg dikandung selama 9 bulan, sambut kepulangan kami dgn senyuman. His smile is so infectious. It makes everything worth it. So, from my 11-month experience of being a Mother at late thirties, here are some of the advantages that I am seeing:

• Emotional maturity
• At 39, achieving emotional maturity should come with life experience. This is important because it can positively impact my approach to parenting. 
• Financial stability
• By this age, I can say that both I and my husband are living comfortably. Nothing extravagant. We have a roof over our heads, a car to take us from point A to point B, and emergency funding. 
• Established support systems
• I am lucky that I have a strong network of family and friends who offer support and guidance throughout my motherhood journey. My younger sister herself is a mother of 2 cute toddlers who gave me tips from time to time.
• Personal fulfilment
• I was doing my MBA when I decided to go for IVF. I was 35 when I asked a question, "Someday, eventually, I will turn 40. Isn't it better to be 40 with an MBA degree?" And so I did. I took my MBA and am about to complete it in July, insyaAllah. And having a baby at that time just makes everything sweeter. I was carrying him in my womb when I attended lectures, presented assignments and took my final exams. He was with me. He was part of me. Now that I had him, and I almost fulfilled my personal goal, nothing else matters. 

Anyway, these are my thoughts as a new Mother. I'm still learning, and there's so much to learn. But one thing is for sure, I love being a Mother. 

p/s: “I can heal a broken heart with a smile.” ~ Rumi

Going for Number 2

Assalamu'alaikum...

A few months back, my husband and I decided we should try for a second baby. We were advised by Dr Ng earlier to return to Genesis sometime in March to restart IVF treatment if we want to try for a second baby. The question is whether I am willing to go through the emotional rollercoaster again. And the answer is, Yes, I do.😄

Jun 1, 8.15 am, we arrived at Genesis. Macam biasa la, ramai sgt org kat clinic ni. After a while, a nurse called my name and asked me to hand over my cooler bag to her and come back to the clinic at around 11 am. Sementara tunggu jam 11 pagi, kami pun jalan-jalan, menikmati keindahan alam. Lebih kurang 11.15, kami sampai dan tunggu giliran untuk jumpa dgn Dr Ng. Dr Ng examined me and said we can try this month. Alhamdulillah...

My next appointment is Jun 8. So, starting from Jun 1 (taken at 8.30 pm last night) until Jun 7, I need to take the following shots:

• Gonal-f
• Humog
• Orgalutran (only on day 6 and 7)

Bermulalah sesi cucuk menyucuk semalam. Today will be day 2. Doakan yg terbaik buat kami. Baby no 2, here we come! 

p/s: The shots that I have to take for this cycle are 16 shots (day 1 thru day 7) + 3 shots (day 8) + 2 shots (day 10). So, altogether, there are 21 shots. Ya Allah, Engkau permudahkanlah.

A New Beginning

Assalamu'alaikum...

I'm back. Akhirnya, setelah bertahun-tahun tak menulis di blog, hari ni saya mula menulis semula. Dan harap-harap tu, akan consistent la. 😊

*****

The year is 2021. Zaman Covid-19. So many uncertainties, and so many precautions. After our failed IUI attempt at Gleneagles in 2018, me and my husband have stopped any form of treatment. But, I know I need help. 11 years is a long time, and I'm turning 40 soon. Macam-macam kami cuba. Then, one fine day, I told my husband that we need to go for IVF. The last resort. While searching on the internet, I stumbled upon an ad by Genesis IVF, Penang. Saya ingat lagi, saya fikir banyak kali samada saya patut contact Genesis dan buat appointment atau patut tak saya tunggu lagi. But, engineering taught me a simple equation:

I (input) + P (process) = O (output)

My logic is this - If I want to change the O, I need to either change the I or the P. If not, the O will be the same. Allah takkan mengubah sesuatu jika hamba-Nya tak berusaha untuk berubah. Ikhtiar. And IVF is our last ikhtiar.

So, I emailed Genesis, explaining my condition. Then, suddenly I received a call, asking me when can I come to see the doctor. Jun 19, 2021. 3 days before my 37th birthday, I met my doctor, Dr Ng Peng Wah. A very pleasant gentleman, I must say. He scanned me and said my chances were 55%, eggs were good on both sides, and the problem could be the egg did not meet the sperm. Simple explanation, but it gave us HOPE. 

*****

Well, to cut a long story short, at 39, I am now a happy mother to a 10-month-old son. Our long-awaited baby. I will write more about my IVF journey in my next post. Stay positive, ya!😉

p/s: "Maka nikmat Tuhan kamu yg manakah yg kamu dustakan?" ar-Rahman ayat ke-13.

TTC & Me - Pantang, Jangan Tak Pantang.. ;)

Assalamu'alaikum...

Sedar tak sedar, dah lebih setahun saya tak update apa2 kat blog ni.. Dah masuk bulan Rejab dah, tak lama lagi Sya'aban, Ramadhan pastu Syawal.. Syawal ni, Insya-Allah akan cukupla 5 tahun usia perkahwinan saya dgn En. Suami.. Alhamdulillah.. (^_^)

So, bila dah menginjak ke angka 5 ni, usaha utk dapatkan baby perlu lebih la kan? Azam tahun ni - All out utk dpt baby sendiri! Ya Allah, perkenankanlah ~ 

To be frank, saya sebenarnya seorang yg sgt skeptical dgn supplement yg diformulatedkan utk those yg TTC yg bnyk dijual kat luar tu.. Takut if ada side effect.. Tapi, kalau ada antara kawan2 yg dah berjaya hamil dgn mana2 product, boleh la share ye?! Nak tahu dari real people with real testimonials.. =)

****************

So, last year, atas nasihat keluarga, saya try p mengurut.. P pada hari ke-4 lepas suci.. 1st time p, kakak yg urut tu ckp, badan banyak sgt angin, makan tak menentu, kaki sejuk.. 2nd month, 3rd month, 4th month, still tak berhasil.. Maybe sbb terlalu mencuba kot, so En. Suami suruh stop and relax.. Lagipun, mungkin sbb terlalu byk keje dan byk travel, so badan selalu rasa lemah.. Tapi, memang best sgt kakak tu urut.. Siap dgn sauna lagi.. Cuma mungkin belum sampai rezeki kami.. =)

Photo from https://www.etsy.com/

Tapi, yg saya nak share kat sini ialah nasihat (or more like pantang) dari kakak tu.. Walaupun belum berjaya pregnant, alhamdulillah, saya dapat rasa perubahan yg positif.. Dah tak bersin pagi2 walaupun tak cukup tidur, badan rasa lebih cergas dan yg paling penting, kaki dah tak cramp.. Kalau tak, kerap juga kena bangun malam dan sapu minyak panas.. Ni list yg kakak tu bagi - item 1 to 21 are those to avoid, k?!:

1. Pulut
2. Tembikai
3. Timun
4. Nanas
5. Tebu
6. Kacang panjang
7. Bayam
8. Rebung
9. Kobis
10. Cincau
11. Air kelapa
12. Minuman gas/berkarbonat
13. Ais
14. Aiskrim
15. Nescafe
16. Teh tarik
17. Makanan yg ada cuka
18. Makanan masam dan pedas (e.g. tomyam)
19. Mee/maggi
20. Nasi sejuk (e.g. nasi yg masak pagi, tp petang baru makan walaupun dah reheat & laksa)
21. Dan makanan2 lain yg menyumbangkan 'angin' kt dlm badan..
22. Banyakkan makan ikan
23. Banyakkan minum air suam

Hopefully, this list dapat bagi benefit utk yg sedang TTC, dan utk semua, in general.. 

p/s: Jangan putus asa.. Allah akan bagi, bila dah sampai masanya.. Till then, be happy and be grateful with what you have got.. (^_-)v

Syukur.. A Baby is OTW!

Assalamu'alaikum..

Wah, bestnye kalau title entry ni pasal my baby.. Hehe.. Actually, baru2 ni, kami dapat 1 berita gembira dr adik En. Suami.. Istimewanya pasangan suami isteri ni, kedua-duanya hilang pendengaran sejak dari bayi.. Pekak dan bisu.. Alhamdulillah, dia dah mengandung 8 minggu.. Dlm pada seisi rumah En. Suami bergembira menerima cucu sulong, Sayyidah Nafisah, Allah murahkan lagi rezeki dgn mengurniakan seorang lg cucu.. Insya-Allah akan lahir bulan 6 tahun depan.. Nampak gayanya, tahun depan kena tambah duit raya la! Mesti comel tengok anak depa bila besar nanti especially bila buat bahasa isyarat utk communicate dgn depa.. =)

Credit to: http://www.babysignlanguage.com/dictionary/i/i-love-you/
Yg ni maksudnya, I LOVE YOU..

As for me dan En. Suami; kami masih lagi berdua.. Tipula kalau saya cakap langsung tak terusik, 3 tahun tu, bukan 3 bulan.. Papepun, syukur sgt sbb ada family dan kawan2 yg memahami.. Macam yg saya pernah tulis dulu, belum sampai rezeki kami.. Samalah macam amek exam masa sekolah dulu la.. Kena usaha, doa dan tawakal, insya-Allah, dgn izin Allah, barulah akan berjaya! *Positive*

Dalam fasa honeymoon ni, banyak yg saya belajar tentang kehidupan.. Utk motivate diri, kuatkan hati.. Bak kata seorang Ustaz ni, bila kita cakap Alhamdulillah utk sesuatu perkara baik yg jd depan mata kita, Insya-Allah rasa cemburu tu takkan begitu menebal.. Lama2, kita akan jadi biasa..

Cuba try! Bila nampak sape2 lalu depan mata sambil drive Ferrari, try cakap, "Alhamdulillah, tu rezeki dia.." Mesti tak rasa jealous sgt kan?! =)

The point that I'm making is, it is normal utk sesiapa pun merasa cemburu, rendah diri bila tengok org lain yg lebih berjaya.. Adik2 ipar saya pekak dan bisu, tapi tak pernah sekalipun saya tengok depa sedih dgn kekurangan depa.. Lagi nampak kelebihan adala, telinga tak dapat dengar fitnah dan mulut tak perlu nak bergosip, bercakap yg bukan2.. Untung kan?!

So, mulai hari ni, jom bersihkan hati.. Buang jauh2 rasa dengki dan iri hati.. If we want something so bad, we should increase our effort! *Ini juga ditujukan buat En. Suami.. hehehe..* Jia you! p(^_^)q

p/s: Praying for more babies in 2014.. Doakan kami ye.. =)

Selepas Setahun.. Part 1: Orang Baru

Assalamu'alaikum..

Sedar tak sedar, dah dekat setahun blog ni dibiarkan bersarang.. Alhamdulillah, things are slowly taking shape now.. Apa yg disemai setahun yg lalu, dah boleh nampak tunasnya.. Cepat betul masa berlalu..

Rasanya saya pernah tulis tentang majlis pertunangan adik ipar saya.. Punyala lama tak menulis, both adik ipar saya dah selamat melangsungkan majlis pernikahan mereka 10.11.12 hari tu.. Selain bertambahnya adik2 lelaki En. Suami, kami juga dah dapat gelaran Pak Long dan Mak Long.. Haha.. Ni dia buah hati kami sekeluarga sekarang.. Cucu sulong Abah dan Mak - Sayyidah Nafisah, yg dilahirkan pada 14.09.13 di Dewan Bersalin Muslimah, Permatang Pauh.. Semoga membesar dgn baik dan menjadi anak yg solehah dan berbakti kpd keluarga dan agama.. =)

Born on 14 Sep 2013

18.05.13 hari tu, adik saya pun dah selamat menjadi isteri org.. Dan secara tak langsung, bertambahlah seorang lagi anak lelaki Ayah dan Mak.. Nak dijadikan cerita, on the way balik dr masjid lepas majlis akad nikah depa, boleh pulak accident.. And I was driving my sister's car pulak tu.. Memang spoil dia punya big day.. Tp, Alhamdulillah, kami semua yg ada dlm kereta tak dak pape.. Luckily uncle yg saya langgar tu tak marah2.. Dia trpaksa brake mengejut sbb ada kereta yg tiba2 potong depan dia.. Secara tak langsung, saya pun trpaksa brake mengejut (baik punya alasan..) Anyway, I'm sorry for the damage and thank you for not scolding me.. Hehehe..

A painful 'wedding gift'

Life is not a life if tiada pahit dan manisnya.. Let's learn to appreciate what we have, before time makes us appreciate what we had..
Thank you Allah for allowing all these amazing people colour my life.. (^_^)

p/s: To my dear sister yg berada jauh di France, study elok2 ye.. I know it is hard to be alone without your husband, semoga Allah permudahkan semua urusan hang kat sana..