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Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Marah? Think Again..


Beberapa hari kebelakangan ni, I've been feeling or should I say, experiencing a lot of hot aura around me.. Macam gunung berapi nak meletus, camtu!

People will say, “Well, what do u expect? Life is not a bed of roses.. There were also a lot of thorns.. U cannot change it!” True, it's a fact.. U can’t convert the thorns to roses, but u can manage the thorns, so that it won’t be poking u all the time.. The action that u take will differentiate u from others.. Don’t u think so? =)

Tp sayangnya, tak semua orang sedar hakikat ni, n how we react to an occasion will eventually affect our lives.. N who we are as Muslims..
Rasulullah s.a.w bersabda yang bermaksud: "Sesungguhnya marah adalah secebis api yang dinyalakan dalam hati. Tidakkah engkau melihat kepada kedua-dua matanya yang merah dan urat-urat lehernya yang menggelembung? Maka apabila salah seorang daripada kamu berasakan sesuatu dari yang demikian, maka rapatkan diri kamu ke muka bumi (duduk menenangkan diri atau sujud kepada Allah)." (Riwayat al-Tirmidzi).
If something that we planned didn’t turn out to be as expected, what will people normally do? Since I can feel there are a lot of negative charges around me, yg asyik nak meletup je, so I will share this interesting anger management article wrote by Dr. Stephen R. Covey.. (I personally like his book on 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.. U should try reading it..) 

So, to all readers out there, happy reading! =)

"Discover the 90/10 Principle. 
It will change your life (at least the way you react to situations).

What is this principle?  10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is
decided by how you react. 
What does this mean? We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. 

We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane will be late arriving, which
throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic.

We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the
other 90%.

How? ……….By your reaction.

You cannot control a red light. but you can control your reaction. Don't let people fool
you; YOU can control how you react.

Let's use an example.

You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee
onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened. 
What happens next will be determined by how you react. 
You curse.
You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in
tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup
too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs
and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy
crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus.
Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your
daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph
speed limit. After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home.

When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your relationship with your spouse
and daughter.

Why? …. Because of how you reacted in the morning. 

Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the coffee cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did the policeman cause it?
D) Did you cause it?
The answer is "D".

You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5
seconds is what caused your bad day.

Here is what could have and should have happened.

Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry.  You gently say, "It’s ok
honey, you just need to be more careful next time". Grabbing a towel you rush
upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time
to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and
waves. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss
comments on how good the day you are having.

Notice the difference? 
Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different.

Because of how you REACTED.

You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was
determined by your reaction.

Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle.
  • If someone says something negative about you, don't be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don't have to let the negative comment affect you! React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc.
  • How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? 
    • Do you lose your temper? 
    • Pound on the steering wheel?  (A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off)
    • Do you curse?
    • Does your blood pressure skyrocket?
    • Do you try and bump them?
WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work?  Why let the cars ruin your drive?

Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it.
  1. You are told you lost your job.
    • Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will work out. 
    • Use your worrying energy and time into finding another job.
  2. The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day. 
    • Why take outpour frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on.
    • Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger. Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse.

Now you know the 90-10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results.
You will lose nothing if you try it. The 90-10 principle is incredible. Very few know and apply this principle. 

The result? 
Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and heartache. We all must understand and apply the 90/10 principle.

It CAN change your life!!!"

So friends, it doesn't matter how n where u start, but how n where u end will single u out from the rest.. The next time u feel like nak marah somebody, try apply this principle.. Don't waste your time cursing n blaming the cause, use the time to think of the best solution.. OK?! (^_-)v

(Photo credit to:

p/s: Jangan marah2.. Nanti cepat tua.. Senyum2 selalu.. =)

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