Happy 39th Birthday!

Assalamu'alaikum...

It is the day of the year again, my birthday! Jun 22, 2023 - My last 3 series birthday. InsyaAllah, panjang umur, next year I'll be entering the 4 series club. 😄

Alhamdullillah untuk nikmat umur yg Allah kurniakan sehingga saat ini. And this year is a special year because it is my first birthday as a Mother. And Jun 22 is also the day my little tiger, Nuh, turns 11 months. 

So, how does it feel to become a Mother at this age? Bagaimana rasanya bergelar seorang Ibu pada usia begini? Secara jujurnya, semasa saya decided untuk buat IVF, age is my main concern. As the doctor said, as a woman entered 35, the egg quality deteriorated. Frankly speaking, it is a mixture of feelings. 

I still clearly remember the embryo transfer day, Nov 22, 2021. The doctor said the embryo hatched beautifully after the transfer. Saya usap perut saya dan kept on telling myself that there is someone in here now. Walaupun belum 100% confirm that it will end up with a pregnancy, but I really felt a pure joy of knowing finally after so many years of TTC, there is HOPE. 

And now, with Nuh, semua penat lelah bila balik dari kerja hilang bila tengok anak yg dikandung selama 9 bulan, sambut kepulangan kami dgn senyuman. His smile is so infectious. It makes everything worth it. So, from my 11-month experience of being a Mother at late thirties, here are some of the advantages that I am seeing:

• Emotional maturity
• At 39, achieving emotional maturity should come with life experience. This is important because it can positively impact my approach to parenting. 
• Financial stability
• By this age, I can say that both I and my husband are living comfortably. Nothing extravagant. We have a roof over our heads, a car to take us from point A to point B, and emergency funding. 
• Established support systems
• I am lucky that I have a strong network of family and friends who offer support and guidance throughout my motherhood journey. My younger sister herself is a mother of 2 cute toddlers who gave me tips from time to time.
• Personal fulfilment
• I was doing my MBA when I decided to go for IVF. I was 35 when I asked a question, "Someday, eventually, I will turn 40. Isn't it better to be 40 with an MBA degree?" And so I did. I took my MBA and am about to complete it in July, insyaAllah. And having a baby at that time just makes everything sweeter. I was carrying him in my womb when I attended lectures, presented assignments and took my final exams. He was with me. He was part of me. Now that I had him, and I almost fulfilled my personal goal, nothing else matters. 

Anyway, these are my thoughts as a new Mother. I'm still learning, and there's so much to learn. But one thing is for sure, I love being a Mother. 

p/s: “I can heal a broken heart with a smile.” ~ Rumi